I haven't written since my SPM days and I'm having difficulties trying to put my thoughts into words (I usually let out a really loud 'GAH!'). I will try again, nonetheless, in hopes to improve my English writing skills. As suggested by Mr. Editor, this post will be about my major: Accounting (and everything in between).
So here it goes - solely my opinions, Part 1.
Accounting, I think, is a profession that most Asians would pursue because it is high in demand and that's +1 point for security. Despite that, I am pretty sure that my initial perceptions changed along the way after encountering various circumstances and people from all walks of lives. At this point in time, I know that this field is a safety net (read: occupation wise). Leaving high school was a dark point in my life as the transition from familiarity to make-your-own-decisions was overwhelming. My indecisive nature was at peak during the time and I simply did not know what to pursue. Surrounded by intelligent peers who knew what they wanted to do and had a life planned out gave a lot of pressure but I'll save the drama and just say this: Hi there, my name is Ainil and I majored in Accounting and Finance, alhamdulillah.
In regards to Accounting, it was/is doable, I suppose. With debits and credits and a bit memorising here and there, I survived high school and foundation. University though, is a different story. My first subject in Uni involved a refresher of what I've learnt in high school with an introduction of GST, which was the exclusively complicated. The subject focused on industry ratios and I learnt that an aspect of a business cannot be judged solitarily because most of the time, things are interrelated. It's also interesting how tiny line items will make up a big factor that determines if the business will do good or not. Then, it was all "hey, only authorised personnels are supposed to sign and approve important processes". Look, I don't think I was the only one who questioned the motive of learning this...... Of course warehouses are supposed to be locked down and of course anyone should sign invoices and delivery dockets - we want sales! We want money!
BUT! Wait give me a second to laugh at my innocent, I-know-everything attitude back then.....
And I'm back! -- There are gazillions (am I exaggerrating?) of unique businesses in this world and all operations are handled to the managements' discretion, especially if it's family business. From an accounting perspective, those tiny silly things can create the biggest problems that will invite more problems and then there will be a problem party and if they get out of control, MORE problems will come. These secured warehouse and authorised signatories matters make up of what we call an 'internal controls structure' of a business that is basically a set of manuals that a business should abide to because if not, auditors will come and ask you loads of questions. Which brings me to the last Accounting in unit I learnt -Audit. I actually did an internship under the Audit department prior to learning the subject and found it hmmm. Repetitive tasks with superiors pushing you for deadlines and let's always remember the overtime (OT) fact. Haha. However, I was blessed to be teamed up with a wonderful senior and manager who are passionate about the field. Great guidance from A to Z and so much respect for their patience because I am a very slow learner. (Dude you can't be slow in a fasterlah you need to finish this today. Got other things to do!!) The client we had was also friendly and helpful and I learnt a lot. At the end of the day, learning the dry subject in Uni was kind of tolerable because it was a series of "HEY I KNOW THIS" and "this makes sense" #goodforme
I have to admit that I am bad at remembering Acts and accounting policies other than always screwing up my debits and credits but I'm sure other people are struggling/struggled, too. I know I shouldn't condone myself for finding comfort in common struggles (or maybe I should because sometimes I am too hard on myself but then again if one does not evolve in his own comfort zone ayyyy). However, I'm just going to pause the deadly habit of comparing myself to others for now and focus on my main point: Along the way, I felt like giving up on accounting when I encountered cost management which I felt was the bane of my existence what with all the confusing steps BUT I found that the planning/implementing part of accounting is super interesting and I cannot wait to explore further. Right after I finished the previous sentence, I'm thinking "wait, costing was pretty okay and it made sense to everything I've learnt". So, I hereby conclude that knowledge is still knowledge and one should never underestimate the smallest speck of knowledge. Glad I made that mistake. Silly young me.
* Will touch on bits of Finance, Law and Economics in different posts. Maybe a piece of Languages as well (because things aren't defined in a single post). Love how these topics go side by side. Just so you know, I thought of dropping Finance and pursue Economics but then I wouldn't be finishing the core modules in time so Finance it is. Other than a potential life partner, I am also excited to know if I will see more of Economics in my future. Haha
BY THE WAY: Funnily enough, I had no perceptions and expectations while doing the internship and those only came after, thankfully. Macam nilah - Audit is a tough and not many can survive but it is best for accountants to spend a few years in audit firms to get used to the wider field. For now, I will keep on studying and then, start with audit firms. Then, I will continue elsewhere and settle down there so I can start focusing on achieving a different goal on the side (Curious? Ask me!). To be honest, I don't know if I can survive Audit. I don't know if I will even go into Audit. I don't know if I can handle the corporate world. I don't know if I can deal with the stress.
The uncertain future is..... Just at the thought of "the future", it gives me anxiety, depression and breaking down in tears is not foreign to me. Look at me, I've listed down all the challenges haha.
1) To be bold, brave and just do it while minimising damages and regrets
2) To overcome my low self-confidence but at the same time, not being too hard on myself
3) To understand that I can only plan
4) To realise that amidst the changes, family and friends are there so support me
5) How to balance work and life and being a good Muslim?
6) Don't lose myself
This time, it's no "sorry for overthinking" but actually overcoming denial. By writing this post, I know now (I've always known but always forgets) that I can only plan and make effort but everything lies in His hands. Pretty sure that despite all the challenges above, Allah will always be there to guide me, insyaAllah. For now, I strive to learn with an open heart. I hope to dive in and seek for my true passion instead of just going with anything. Most of all, I need to be kinder to myself and slowly forget about other people. I need to remember that everyone has different paces so just be grateful for what I have and never settle for less <- lol hello negative Ainil you better come back to this post and engrave this in your mind over and over again okay
The best thing about writing this post is that I gained more confidence about the field. I always waver in my determination but this post feels like closure so thank you, Sopi. I've also had very unpleasant days for the past few weeks so this is - this feels good.
Edit: "Rather than a closure, it's more of an opening", said Girl.
Yang masih cetek ilmu pengetahuan,
Ainil.
p/s: I was expecting to write deep deep stuff with flowery, bombastic, descriptive words that will draw a reader in but this is 100% better :)
